We’ve all been there.
The shaky hands. The tight throat. The bugs crawling around and nibbling away at our insides.
We feel like we’re about to explode! Like the famous scene in Aliens. Except now in full glorious 3D CGI and with a bigger, more important audience watching.
No, these aren’t the nerves you get from a new upside down theme park ride, or from meeting your favourite star such as Elton John.
These are the nerves at a final round job interview, in front of a panel of three senior executives who have facial expressions like they grew up on Easter Island.
Or a presentation in a room the size of an airship hangar, with what feels like two hundred thousand people, staring right at you, and ready to discuss with each other what a failure you are in your job.
Or maybe it’s an investor pitch, a tv interview, a wedding speech….the list goes on!
Feeling nervous is annoying, inconvenient and darn right distracting. And it affects all of us at some point or another.
Even with an insane amount of preparation and practice (easily the most important factor for a successful performance) nervousness can still hijack us, send the mind into a flat spin and let doubts about our ability creep in.
Being able to present ourselves well in these high-pressure situations is a crucial part of being successful. The greatest leaders do it flawlessly.
So here is a quick exercise to help us manage those nerves and give us an instant boost of calm and confidence.
It’s called “Anchoring”, and as the name suggests it stops the boat (us and our thoughts) sinking or floating away with our nerves. Like an anchor, this exercise keeps us in our place, solid and strong, ready to set sail on another cruise into exploring new territories of success. (ok, a step too far with the boat metaphor here)
Whether it’s a job interview, big presentation, speech, pitch, meeting or any other nerve wracking event coming up, anchoring can help.
And we can do it right now, here it goes:
1.) Use your favourite method to get into a deeply relaxed state.
Mine is five deep breaths with my eyes closed and body relaxed in a comfortable position, counting five in through the nose and five out through the mouth.
2.) Now, close your eyes and recall, in as much detail as possible, an experience from the past when you were successful, when your self-esteem was really high, or when you felt really calm.
3.) Got it? Now imagine you are there again. Re-live the experience, slowly and fully, physically and emotionally. Recapture all the sensations you experienced.
What was the temperature like? Can you remember any smells? What did you hear in the background? What facial expression did you have? Or those around you? What were all your senses going through?
4.) Spend some time really enjoying these feelings while at the same time making a small and subtle movement
Try pressing your hands together, or my favourite, squeezing your thumb. This is the trigger movement and should be discreet so that no-one would notice you doing it in public.
5.) Repeat this on several occasions
Until you find that you are able to respond automatically with your high self-esteem feelings or your feeling of calm when you conjure up this mental picture and use your physical trigger.
6.) Do this 5 times or more.
7.) Eventually, you will be able to use this small trigger to "anchor" yourself and bring back the feelings of calm or high self-esteem whenever you need to.
Perfect for crushing that big performance, whatever it is, even if it is meeting Elton John.
This is just one exercise I use with clients when preparing for big moments in their career.
I’d happily work through it with you too. If you’re looking for support in building confidence then let’s talk!